“The Beginning is the End is the Beginning”

Show: Alias

Rating: PG for language

Setting: post-Telling

Summary: DarkWill fic

“He sleeps with the lights on.”

He sleeps with the lights on. Doesn’t even bother with a nightlight. Not enough. Still too dark.

He’s found religion. Keeps a Bible in his nightstand. A cross in his dresser drawer. Goes to church on Sundays. And thanks God for his blessings, even for his life. No matter how fucked up it is.

*

The last girl he bought back to his place was a college kid. In her senior year majoring in English.

“I knew a girl who majored in English,” he says with a beer in his hand.

“Really?”

He leans closer to her. She has such pretty blue eyes. Even in the dark bar, he can see how clear they are.

“Yeah, but she never let me fuck her,” he says.

The girl smiles. “What makes you think I will?”

“You’ve already made up your mind.” He’s feeling cocky, and never in a million years would he ever think of himself as cocky. But it’s okay now. “You’re leaving this place with me.”

And she does.

And he fucks her with the lights on.

*

Sunday morning he asks God for forgiveness. Does the sign of the cross and kneels in his pew. Joins the other sinners as they recite: “Heavenly father, we ask for your mercy…”

**

Monday morning he heads to work. A new construction site in Green Bay.

He hates Wisconsin weather. But somehow he’s learned to adapt to it. When the cold air blows in from Lake Michigan, he doesn’t even blink. It’s when the sun shines high in the sky he feels it. Because it reminds him of the life he left behind. The California sun and the Pacific breeze. The salty aftertaste in his mouth. The smog in his nostrils.

“Did you hear me, Jonah?”

It takes him a moment to realize his boss is talking to him.

“Jonah?”

He answers.

*

He has a sister named Amy. A degree in Journalism. Parents. He’s been in love twice. Sydney Bristow and Francie Calfo. He’s been deceived twice. Sydney Bristow and Alison Doreen.

When did the best friend end and the CIA agent begin?

When did the lover end and the enemy begin?

When did Will end and Jonah begin?

When did it end?

When did it begin?