I.

We go forward, we go back

So, after kissing Logan, Veronica had no idea what would happen next in her life. She certainly didn’t expect to hear that Duncan had run away with ten grand. But, that wasn’t even the worst part.

She was standing in Logan’s bedroom. With her hands tucked in the back pockets of her jeans. A strand of her short blond hair fell into her eyes, but she was too damn nervous to move it.

Logan stared at her. “So.”

“So,” she echoed.

And that was that.

“Where do you think he went?” Logan asked.

Okay. This was normal. She could be normal. She brushed the hair from her eyes and shrugged. “Did he say anything to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Do you think it has anything do with my investigation?” she carefully asked.

Logan’s eyes widen. “No! God, Veronica, if I knew Duncan would react this way I never would have told him.”

“But, you still told him.”

His voice softened. “He’s my best friend.”

Judging by the way he sounded, Veronica knew he just wasn’t talking about feeling guilty about the files.

“Logan, about—”

“It won’t happen again,” he suddenly said.

“It won’t?” She wanted to kick herself for sounding so…so…hurt.

He did a double-take. Ground. Her. Ground. Her again. “Unless, you want it? To happen again?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. Do you? I mean, do you want it to happen again?”

He sat down on his bed. It took him a moment to say anything, but when he did, he meant it. He looked up at her and said, “Yeah, I do.”

A small smile spread on her face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” And he smiled with her.

Veronica joined him on the bed. She knew it was coming, but she was still surprised. Just like the first time. Logan’s hands crept to her neck. The tips of fingers gently drew circles under her chin and then they moved north towards her cheeks. His mouth hovered dangerously close to hers. And they concentrated on each other until the very last moment. When their eyes shut and their lips met once again.

Breathe, Veronica.

She pulled away. “Leo.” She flinched as she mentioned her sorta, kinda boyfriend.

Logan narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“I have a date with Leo this weekend,” she said.

“So?”

“So, what am I going to do? What am I going to say to him?

He dipped his face towards her again. “Tell him the truth.”

Their foreheads touched and she felt her heart leap to her throat.

“And what would that be?” she asked.

“That you found something better.”

And Veronica gasped a little bit when he kissed her again. He always managed to catch her off guard. Not a small feat for anyone. Not when it came to Veronica Mars.

Logan pulled away. “Duncan.”

Her forehead crinkled. “Huh?”

“What about Duncan?” He was pulling even farther away. “This is crazy.”

She watched him stand up. He ran his hands through his hair and his breathing became heavy.

“Relax, Logan,” she said, “just relax, okay? We’ll figure something out.”

“I mean, I’m his best friend!” He made wild gestures at her. “And you’re…”

“The ex-girlfriend,” she finished for him.

He exhaled. “Yeah.”

She got on her feet. “Did you not hear me say ex?” She timidly placed a hand on his arm. “I have no idea what’s going on, Logan. Between us. Why Duncan ran away. Life. But that’s what life is about. Being clueless idiots.”

“Thanks, that’s reassuring.”

She smiled. “But sooner or later, every idiot gets a clue.”

He took her hand off his arm and interlaced their fingers. “I guess I’m that idiot.”

“Well, lookie there.” She glanced at the top of his head. “There’s your shiny lightbulb.”

He pulled her to him. “Now, what?”

She liked how his hands rested on her hips. Her chest rose with his.

“You tell me,” she said.

He told her with another kiss. Another welcomed surprise.

They pulled away at the same time.

“Lilly,” they whispered.

II.

We go back, we go forward

Veronica watched him sleep. Dressed in his white T-shirt with nothing else on underneath. Her knees raised to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her tiny frame. She sat at the foot of his bed and she just looked.

Tonight, Logan slept peacefully. It was a rare occasion. Most nights he tossed and turned, or he didn’t even sleep at all. Sometimes she would stay up with him. They talked about everything and nothing until the sun came up. And sometimes she would sleep, only waking when his hands told her to.

This was the third time this week. The third time she had lied to her father. The third time she had snuck out of her bedroom. The third time she had showed up at Logan’s doorstep. The third time Logan had pushed her against the wall in his front lobby, then against the banister of the staircase, and against the door to his room, then finally onto his bed.

She closed her eyes, thinking about the fourth time.

“Hey.”

Logan stirred below her and she opened her eyes.

“Hey,” he said again.

“Hi,” she said.

He touched her leg. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to look at you.”

The left side of his mouth slid up.

“And I was waiting for you to wake up,” she added.

He sat up. “Well, I’m awake.”

“You should sleep,” she said.

He cradled her face in between his hands. “How can I sleep when you’re right here?”

She smirked. “Why, Mr. Echolls, what exactly are you saying?”

He leaned forward, kissing her lightly on the mouth.

“I like that,” she sighed.

His hands disappeared under his T-shirt. She remembered his touch. The way his fingers spread out on her hot skin. Over her stomach. Under the curves of her breasts. The small of her back. Her spine. Soon, they were lifting the shirt over her head and she was tumbling with each of his caresses.

And he pushed her again. Her back against his sheets. He pushed into her. Inside her.

His head fit into the crook of her neck. “Veronica…”

She ran her fingers through his damp hair. “Shh…”

He looked up at her, still inside her. Tears clung to his eyelashes.

“I’m sorry,” he said to no one in particular.

She kissed him. “I know.” Her mouth moved to his ear. “They know.”